Passing...

My grandfather-in-law (wilk's paternal grandpa) passed away last wednesday at the age of 79 and the funeral was held over 5 days (wed - sun). Feeling sort of drained now and everyone involved looked really tired.

I have a lot of emotions and thoughts whirling around my head about wilk's grandpa, his illness, his family, the funeral etc. But i think, they are much too personal to share at this moment, and i am also not sure what to make of them.

The one thing however i would share was that my strongest memory of ah-gong (though i may not have known him well) was the grinning expression in his face and his little 'victory' hand sign in the group family photo at the wedding dinner of wilkie & me. That photo never fails to make me laugh when i look at it. And that was the exact image that i recall during the numerous prayers & rites at the funeral. It may seem strange that while everyone else was sniffing and sobbing, i was actually smiling through my tears as i think about ah-gong. It may seems insolent or queer but i think it was my own little way of mourning his passing.

I may not share ah-gong's or his family's beliefs but... i hope he is happy and contented wherever he is.

Byebye, Ah-gong.

Quote at the end of the week...

Content makes poor men rich; discontent makes rich men poor
- Benjamin Franklin

And what would discontent make a poor man?

Hole in the pillar

Hole in the pillar
Originally uploaded by AuRoRiN & MoOoK.

This little rectangular hole at the bottom of a massive pillar in Todaiji (Nara) attracts lots of children and adults while we were there. There was a pretty long line of people queuing to squeeze through the hole. Little children of course had no difficulties squirming their way through but the adults... that's a different matter altogether. In fact i was quite anxious for one or two of them who almost looked like they couldn't make it midway through the hole. Luckily, with a little help from friends pulling and tugging from both ends, there wasn't any causalities... yet.

Wilk and I gave a whack at it and made it safely through (but i needed a little bit of help la :P). It is believed that those who can crawl through this hole will be able to ascend to heaven when they die. Guess heavens is only reserved for children and not-so-large people eh? In any case, if that's true, looks like both Wilk and I just reserved ourselves a spot there.

Dogs on (Fashion) Parade

Dogs on (Fashion) Parade
Originally uploaded by AuRoRiN & MoOoK.

I wonder if it is only in Japan that people would dress up their dogs to look like 'Miffy'. When i saw this at the street market outside sensoji(Asakusa), i had a sudden vision of Ruskie wearing the exact same thing. It took tremendous will power not to succumb to that urge to buy it for my cat.

Phew.

I think i might have save myself a couple hundred yens and painful scratches from Ruskie.

Gaze

Gaze
Originally uploaded by AuRoRiN & MoOoK.

I didn't fiddle much with wilk's camera while in Japan, just taken a shot or two here and there. This is one of my favourite shots that i took though there was nothing much to do with the country per se. It was taken of this little 4 or 5 yr old English (or American) girl sitting infront of us with her parents & brother on the Shinkasen train from Tokyo to Kyoto (3hr+).

Think she might be a bit grouchy and sulky that afternoon because she didn't want to talk and sort of just stared moodily out the window most of the time. Or perhaps her parents woke her up too early to catch the train. Whatever it was, she still looked really pretty with her golden hair and big eyes so i wanted to take a photo of her. Except she didnt quite feel like being photographed because she began to avoid looking at me the minute i held up the camera.

In the end it was sort of like a bit of hide and seek (her continuing to look sulky, but interested) where i would hold up the camera and she turn her back towards me when she hear the camera click but then pop out to look at me again when i put down the camera. Finally, i was sneaky enough to click on the camera as her back is turned but remain poised to take a quick second shot when she predictably turn her head around to look at me as she told it would be 'safe'.

Heh heh i still remember that little girlish indignant look she threw at me and turning away in a huff when i managed to get a shot. But before you know it, she actually started the whole hide and seek thing again. And once wearing a cute pair of star-shaped sunglasses where she acted really like a diva avoiding the paparazzi. *chuckles* In the end i got a few shots playing this 'game' but still, i like very first 'successful' shot the most.

It might not be a very well composed photo or contain a very interesting subject matter but i guess sometimes its the story behind it that makes a shot memorable and "beautiful" in my eyes.

'Stuck'

'Stuck'
Originally uploaded by AuRoRiN & MoOoK.

Hmm.. this is exactly how i am feeling now.

Spending time

Not that i have that much time to blog... but i rather spend my time doing this than.. say, "work". Man, at this rate, i am going to suffer from work depression. What a 180 degrees turnabout from my first year at work. If you ask me then if i thought i would ever feel like this about work, i would have answered with a resounding, "No".

But it has become as such my friends.
It has.

"Either i will find a way, or i will make one" - Sir Philip Sidney

I tried looking for a way to survive in this environment but it seems like the more i try to look for a solution, the more evasive the solution becomes. Perhaps it is time to acknowledge that 'a way' may not be to try to 'save' this sh*t h*le i am in, but to seek 'a way' out. Even if i have to charge right at the walls and break through it. A way i must make to GET OUT for ME, not a way to undo the mess that other people keep heaping on our heads.

Hell, its one thing to believe in the "ideals" but it is totally another thing to be uplifting it in a place when there seems to be a conspiracy to undermine it or just total incapability to adhere to it. Whatever it is, 'ideals' cannot be holding up my head above the water at the end of the day. There have got to be more!

I am sorry if i have disappointed any of you for thinking like this. But i really cant go on like this for very much longer.

I think it is about time i start planning on how to pave my own way.

"Fixed again"

But don't know for how long.

"wai"

Dunno why but my side bar has gone 'down under' again.
Happens everytime after a few post though i did not touch the template...
Hmmm okie.. i did touch it but that was just to include Mr Tabs onto the sidebar and during preview and for a couple of hours, everything looked fine!

*frown*
What am i missing out on?

New Pond

Pond Musings: The Pond Reopens for Business
Ngiap Heng, our wedding album photographer just came back from the a pretty long hiatus and announced that he is gonna stop doing AD wedding photography to concentrate on doing more commercial work & portraits at The Pond. A great loss to future wedding couples i am sure but heck.. good for him i'd say!

When we first met NH, he has already struck me as someone a trifle bit odd to be in the wedding photography business, especially when you listen to his ideas and philosophy of taking photographs. Frankly he is more of an artist and just have too much to offer than be doing AD for wedding couples especially most couples just prefer the run-of-the-mill sort of wedding photography and NH is definitely not a run-of-the-mill photographer. Just check out his website and blog and you'll see what i mean...

Still, i can help but feel a trifle bit glad that our wedding was before his decision was made cos we weren't going to have a wedding album unless NH could be the photographer. Phew, lucky for us! *grins* Anyway, really wishing him and his team at The Pond all the best. There's nothing more important than doing what you believe in... :)

Post 30 Syndrome

AHA!

A new look for the blog.

A tad girlish and not at all my usual style but...
it's a woman's perogative to be fickle, no?

Took me about 2 hours to tweak and customize the original template.
Would have been quicker if my eyesight and mental processing have not aged alongside my physical body.

Ah well.
At least a productive way to spend the Youth Day school hols than lie on the couch to play mahjong on the PSII.

Now i am playing AND tweaking my blog!
*grins*